My Mom

My mom lost her battle with cancer yesterday.

Although the years after my father died were difficult between us, the past several my mom and I had begun to rebuild our relationship. We found more common ground and worked hard at building a relationship as adults. This makes her death all the more tragic, because we had begun to be friends, relate better as adults and really enjoy the time we had together.

I am her executrix, so the next few weeks are going to be filled with taking care of the business of closing down her life. She is in a better place now, but her absence will leave a void in my life. When I get back from taking care of my duties, I look forward to throwing myself into my writing, as therapy. Thank you all so much for your patience and good wishes whilst she was battling cancer.

And please, PLEASE – if you ever see something unusual happen to your health, habits… do not hesitate to go the doctor. Go to a clinic, if nothing else


Sorry I’ve been quiet of late. As a lot of you know from previous posts, my mom has Stage IV cancer. Nearly a month ago she contracted a Staph infection and was hospitalised for a week, on intravenous antibiotics. She was released home, but has had a hard time getting her strength back. Two weeks ago I got a call that she was really bad, and I spoke with the Hospice nurse, who said her body was shutting down and she had days left. I had planned to see her the end of that week, but at great expense moved the departure up and decided to stay a week instead of 4 days (she lives in Texas, and as you know, I live in Washington state).

I’m pleased to say she’s still with us, despite everything. Hospice had her on so many drugs she wasn’t awake much during the day, and their charter is to ‘die with dignity’ which to them means no extra fluids, zero discomfort, etc. Luckily my mom had thought ahead and given me legal status with regard to her medical treatment and we ratcheted back some of the drugs, she became more lucid and she began to drink and then eat on her own. When I left a week ago to-day, she was able to sit up for several hours, watch TV and engage in conversation quite clearly, eat chicken, jello or a really small sandwich at a time. I’ve spoken to her since and she continues to get stronger.

Hospice’s idea is to die quickly and without pain but that’s not what a dignified death means to everyone. My mom (and I support her in this), feels like there is so much to live for and she wants to fight as long as she can, despite what people say her prognosis is. I am proud of her – they didn’t think she’d beat the Staph infection, (her pancreas was removed so it makes battling infections that much more difficult), but she did, and now she’s trying to get her strength back. I don’t know what the future holds so each day, regardless of what the outlook seems to be, is a victory. I discovered this when my father died suddenly and I was 12 – you cannot know what the next day, or the day after that holds, so all you can do is treasure the moments you have and do your best to live a decent life, as defined by you.

Since I’ve been back I’ve tried to catch up on work and then over the weekend I got sick, and am finally on the mend – I can go back to work to-morrow, because my head is finally clearing up and my sinuses don’t feel like they’re stuffed with concrete!

So I haven’t made much progress on my books; while I was away I was able to edit the second book in the Void Chronicles a little, but it was difficult to write new content because I was really preoccupied and it was hard to concentrate. Since I’m up and my head isn’t pounding any more I plan on doing some writing to-night and this weekend. I am about 20% done with book 5, which may not seem like much, but I can easily pound out a few thousand words with my knuckles if I get a few hours of uninterrupted time. 😉

I’d like to ask my wonderful readers for a favour; there is a local convention – Norwescon – and I am considering printing up a flier to be included in their ‘swag bag’ that they hand out to attendees, advertising my cyberpunk and fantasy erotica. If you have read either of those books (“And Laugh at Digital Butterflies” and “A World Away” respectively), and have complimentary feedback to offer, please email me (holly(at) or post them in the comments section of this post. If you haven’t read them, but have complimentary feedback on my writing in general, I also welcome that. Norwescon focuses on Fantasy & Science Fiction, hence the reason I can only publicise those two book, and not Lily/Stuart.

Thank you for your patience and support – your kind messages (Dina & Michelle especially, you are such wonderful regulars =), and thank you for coming back and visiting my site time and again.

All the best to you and yours,